粗糙帖

I have worked here for more one month.
I guess I began to be tied of my working place....

My superiors perfer make decisions by themselves.
They sit on the high location, not on the spot, indicate what we should do.
So, everything is up to them, they don't care which one stand in the first line.
And it is unnecessary to take the basic level's opinion as a matter, either.

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我讀了一些書，有助於我觀看這個世界的角度，但也更容易讓我看到故事背後的盲點—。
知識份子不能盡其才智為國家驅策，反倒要自降格調配合主事者的＿＿
何其悲哀！

千辛萬苦讀那些書，通過國家考試，領國家的錢，不過是要你為國家做事——

結果連挺身而出說真話的勇氣也沒有！
與此同時，我腦中終於不住湧起一股強烈的疑竇：「為什麼國家要養這群人？」

只為了五十歲退休後沒幾年安逸的歲月？
只為了領月退而活，我活不下去。
虛度二十多年的青壯光陰，半點都不值得。

就是這麼令人洩氣。

我不想考了。
本來還基於父母苦勸之下抱著應付以及僥倖的心態，現在我開始覺得考不考得上是另外一回事，但如果浪費那麼多青春就為了進入這樣的體系....

以我的性格我一定會感到萬分痛苦，我確定我會過得不快樂。
除非我變了，忘記初衷了，學會得過且過了，否則我永遠無法視而不見。 

我差點就忘記，許達然老師講授尼采(Nietzsche)時念茲在茲的「free will」有多彌足珍貴，而群眾往往將其抹煞壓抑，於是人們永遠不快樂…
父母不懂，那就不懂罷…何必懂呢?
因為我懂一個一輩子領國家俸祿得到國家好處的既得利益者啊……
怎麼可能奢望他們懂一顆自由奔放的心? 

 

新井一二先生因為電影【海角七號】有感而發，寫出《臺灣為何教我哭？》，書名是如此有正面意義啊！
然而，最近卻讓我感慨萬千，我的臺灣怎麼沒有教我哭...倒是一昧地教我要忍氣吞聲呢？

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Feb 29 is a special day for once for years, and I also have different feeling.
I was disappointed that I respected someone, who didn't esteem my major at all.
Actually I don't realize what history major shall know in your heart, as you don't realize what history major really learn. 
Telling you how to take account of people, to put yourself in other's position in the past, and taught you how to forget you are the Monday morning quarterback guy！
History major student didn't just recite everthing happened throughout the world at all times! 

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Rainy Day
「....她實在不明白，反正這些日子過得糊裏糊塗的，難得記，難得想，算起來長—長得無窮無盡，天天這樣，日日這樣，好像一世也過不完似的，可是仔細想去，空的，白的，甚麼東西都沒有。」 ～白先勇，〈黑虹〉，1961年。
My feeling ran particularly deeply as I read this paragraph.
I don't wanna live a kind of immutable and frozen life, which will made me become pessimistic...
YO said he felt very very boring and sarrowful in his life on this morning, I thought I was able to understand what he meant behind his words.
Reading is a good habit, I could imagine many things what I don't have experienced yet.
On the other hand, I could imagine some special feelings which people never thought as well........
I'd rather to regard it as my luckiness.

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2/25(Sat.) A Cloudy Day
Spring 姊 took our new colleague- LU,Yi-Fang.
YO was really very "social", he shook new colleague's hands right away!? 
The new one will go to work on March 1 formally.....
March, a whole new month again~! Keep working hard~! 

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Alex was back.
I started to read 《寂寞的十七歲》its author is 白先勇.
白先勇 is a very famous writer in Chinese literature world, whose works are translated for many languages.
He has witten various kinds of literature, such as novels, essay, and drama (Kunju Opera)....
I thought of all his famous works still is novel《孽子》 in Taiwan especially.

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科長 told R and me she will examine our guiding situation on this Saturday.
Just a little test! I didn't take it very seriouly, but R did.

阿汪 volunteered to be a visitor zealously.
After hearing our guide-speaking(?), he thought i need to organize my lecture note, so I had to practice more and more, and there was no big problem on me. （有這個用法嗎？惑~）
On the oher hand, R was very nervous and worried about this Saturday's test.
She said even said once she stood on the exihibition, there was nothing she could recall the content of guiding what the volunteer taught before.

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Feburary 20 was a significant day, when would influnce me a lot.
It was about after 10 o'clock, Tse-Hsin Chen visited the museum all of a sudden.
I was a little suprised to her arrival, and then I congratulated upon her who was the first visitor today.
Next, I gave the "Museum Quarterly NO.12" to Tse-Hsin. 
(Tse-Hsin is my classmate during high school and university, everybody always calls her "Vagetarian"(呷菜ㄟ) including of me~.)

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連著好幾天我又犯了懶病沒寫工作日誌。
前兩天(17日)還有個正當理由，充分利用好晚上三個小時的時間，衝了一篇約莫兩千字的〈客家與澎湖關係史略窺〉…
投給館刊，我只希望不要給歷史系的老師們看到，這份短文還沒有在學校時寫得報告來的嚴謹一半啊啊啊啊啊啊……
前一天(18日)就根本沒有正當理由可言，打蛇魔打得太忘我，快十點才回過神來可惜時間已經晚啦！（汗）
It was too cold to bear this weather.
But I still have to keep early hours, for being a good employee.
A few of bitty tourists visited our museum intermittently on this Saturday and Sunday.

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Alex asked for leave until next Friday, so there are only three persons—阿汪, R, me and an adminstrator kept watch for the information counter today.
Here came so few visitors, so all of us expected today was able to break the record of the least visitors attending.
Especially 阿汪, he would like to witness the historical moment very much.
So far, the record of least visitors is 7 persons, but 阿汪 never takes part in the scene personally.

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Before my break time, I thought today might break the record for the least visitors.
Fortunately, here came a family group who reversed this situation in time.
They told us smiley that they would not visit our museum if they could catch up with the plane yesterday sucessfully.
Oh！I don't know wether to laught or to cry when hearing this reason. 
 

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昨天 R 破病請假今天沒發燒就來上班，聲音低沉沙啞整個就很man.
今天輪到 Liao 來值班，整個氣氛很輕鬆就不像在值班。
Alex ＆ Liao 兩個人都十分熱衷於NBA的轉播，全台灣似乎都變成紐約尼克的球迷。
不得不誇獎這一期2月份的《彭蒙惠英語》也太洞足機先，封面就是放上 Doris 與 Jeremy Lin 的合照，課文也是介紹文，還順便學英語呢！
後來科長大人大概看一下今天人不多，特別安排一位志工媽媽（欸...與前文有關的那位....）替R與我上一堂導覽課。
大致上與售票Huang姊講得相去不遠，時間比較充裕他講了一個半小時再多一點吧？！
所以也有更多細節上的東西要記，一定要找一天將筆記重新整理一份。 （搥背

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